Anyone else suffer with sensory overload since becoming a parent?
Parenting has fundamentally changed the way my brain operates. A few months back we were in a garden centre cafe with our kids and a friend. It was so noisy, the kids were all over the place, there was too much choice and the thing I’d ordered for my husband wasn’t available and I just couldn’t deal with it. I had to walk off and go to the toilet just for some head space. The server absolutely thought I was being rude and my friend’s face spoke a thousand words. But I just couldn’t function.
It’s not the first time this has happened to me. Sometimes it’s all just too much.
I’ve had to find ways to find more silence in my life…
🤫 I no longer listen to the radio when I drive. I simply enjoy the peace. And if the kids are in the car, it’s just one less piece of information my brain has to process.
If I’m feeling overwhelmed, I just say to my husband “I can’t function right now”
🧘 I make time just to be silent and alone. I’m lucky that I can retreat to my studio. And the truth is, the main reason I opened the little studio after my accident was so that I had a place to do that.
👨⚖️ I try to practice non-judgement. I remember when I wasn’t a parent, it was far too easy to look at other parents and think judgey thoughts. Now I just look at other parents with empathy and understanding. I’m also learning to do the same towards myself.
Parenting self-care is SO vital. It’s far too easy to lose yourself as a parent, because it’s constant output. We’re taught to be selfless, giving, nurturing…there are so many societal expectations when it comes to parenting. But it’s all bullshit! It’s all just conditioning. What your children need is different for every child and every family, and how you do that is entirely up to you. And self-care comes in a thousand different forms too. There are no parenting rules, just judgey people projecting their own insecurities.
I believe that from a spiritual perspective, my children chose me and I chose them. So all I truly need to do is show up as my authentic self.
Human Design has taught me so much about conditioning and my uniqueness as a person and parent. But also about who I’m meant to be and how I’m meant to operate as a unique human….
🏠 I’ve learned that I need quiet, isolated environments where I’m able to control who comes in and out. These are known as ‘cave’ environments in Human Design. My studio is a wonderful example.
😴 I’ve learned that I need more rest than most people, because I’m a ‘projector’ energy type. I just don’t have the energetic capacity to keep up with the current pace of the World. Therefore more passive parenting techniques (so called "lazy parenting") are great energy preservers for me.
🍗 I’ve learned that if I eat in a more simple way that my mind and body both function better. This is known as ‘consecutive’ digestion.
😭 I’ve learned that I’m ‘non-emotional’, meaning that rather than riding my own waves of emotions, I absorb everyone else’s emotions and magnify them. So I need to regularly take myself off and away from people to get back to cool, calm and collected.
Just these small bits of information have massively impacted the way I feel and act as a parent.
It even goes a step further and helps me understand my husband and children’s unique design too. So that together we can all operate as our geuine selves and receive all the good stuff and lessons that we’d chosen to learn together in this lifetime.
Even as I write this, I’ve just shooed my children away as they follow me into the bathroom! And that’s ok, we all need to do our own thing sometimes. It’s your duty as a parent to simply be you. Because that’s all your kids really want.
If like me, you have times when you feel insufficient or imperfect, when people are judging you, when it all just feels too much. Remember that it’s ok.
There’s no one way to parent and there’s no one way to be a human. Big love to all those parents out there who are just done in from trying to negotiate life with little ones. You’re doing great!
Right, I’m off for a bath! 🛁
Feel free to share your stories of sensory overload…