You can’t change the tide without creating a splash.
Before I even opened the doors to my new business, I received a one star review. I’ve been sitting on this for a few weeks now, because I’ve really wanted to understand the ‘why is this happening for me?’, desperately trying to avoid my natural tendency to be reactive.
I hold myself to very high standards, and I’ve been riding five star reviews ever since I first went self-employed. So of course, this came as a shock to me as it popped up on my phone while I was in the middle of M&S with the kids! Needless to say, we had to cut our shopping trip short so I could process what I’d just read and figure out how I could have so deeply offended someone.
Now, let’s be clear, this post isn’t about telling that person they’re wrong, and it’s certainly not a passive-aggressive “F**k you!”, as this person is very unlikely to read this. Their feedback was valid because everyone views the World from their own lens, so regardless of whether I agree or not, for this person, it was their honest view on the situation. This post is really about how the gift of feedback can truly propel us forward…
It’s no secret to anyone who’s worked with me, that I’m totally crap at receiving feedback, yet I’m the first person to give it! 🤣 So truly, I can only smile at the one star review as the Universe reflects back to me what I’ve been known to put out there in the past. Since going self-employed, I’ve been far more conscious of this, as my lens has changed and I have grown.
I have also taken the opportunity to consider that, perhaps, this could be a sign of success. My coach reminded me this week that the more light we shed on the World, the more it challenges those who choose to live in the darkness. And I certainly know this from my own moments of living in the darkness.
I’m still a 4.9/5 in terms of my business reviews, so why does it still bother me?
🙄 Because our schooling teaches us our value based on a grading system.
🙄 Because employment teaches us that success is given only to those who tick all the boxes on their performance reviews.
🙄 Because the media teaches us that we should be a certain way to be likeable and loveable.
🙄 Because (some) religion teaches us that we’re all sinners and should devote ourselves to meeting God’s expectations of us.
🙄 Because society teaches us that our worth is defined by something external to us.
🙄 Because the internet ranks us by ratings based on other peoples’ opinions.
Being out there in the World can feel both empowering and vulnerable at the same time. Especially in today’s online society where we can respond to things in an instant. We lose our opportunity to reflect before we react. You may recall the “Be Kind” campaign. From an observational perspective, it fascinates me. This campaign was necessary, yet so quickly forgotten. It seems that very rarely do things stick past the temporary social movement wherefrom they began. I can’t help but ask myself, where’s the integrity in this? I intentionally move through the World with my core values of honesty and integrity, and this truly impacts the way I choose run my business. Therefore I can’t help but find myself frustrated when I see the World lacking such values.
So for today I’m reflecting upon how I can use this opportunity to empower myself and hopefully empower others to swim against the tide too…
💛 What other people think of me is none of my business
💛 Nobody is for everyone
💛 Reflection before reaction
💛 The World is a mirror reflecting back at me what I’m putting out there
💛 Light creates shadows
💛 We don’t always get it right
💛 Being imperfect is divine perfection
💛 We all view the World through our own lens
💛 We’re all on a journey
💛 Every interaction is a gift
💛 Someone else’s opinion doesn’t define my worth
💛 I will never teach my children to feel validated by the grades they receive at school
💛 Integrity is more than a temporary social movement
💛 Don’t judge others
💛 Don’t judge myself
💛 Be kind