The pursuit of happiness is an illusion

I was talking with a good friend recently and they said “Someone once said to me that I’ll never be happy, and I think they were right”. This comment puzzled me. Not because I have views on whether they’re a happy person or not, but because I think that chasing permanent happiness is just setting yourself up for failure. I’m not trying to be pessimistic, I promise. Happiness is a feeling. Like joy or sadness or anger or contentment or all the other vast range of feelings we experience as human beings. All of which are temporary. They come and go in waves and moments. None of them permanent. So why have we collectively decided that we’re going to pick just one of those feelings and make that our life’s mission? The truth is we’re here to be human. And to be human means to experience all of the feelings and emotions. ALL. OF. THEM. When our cup is empty, we refill it. But expecting our cup to be full all the time is unrealistic. You could even say it’s bypassing. And this is something I bang on about a lot. There is beauty in the lows and I believe we need to honour our darkness. We can learn so much when our glass is depleated, or even when it’s completely broken. Like the analogy of a seed, things sprout in the darkness and find their way to the light where they can bloom. But even flowers don’t bloom forever. They die off and reseed, and the cycle starts again. Just like happiness, and all the other emotions, they go in cycles and seasons. Happiness isn’t my goal. Learning about myself, being more human, gaining coping strategies, and personal growth are my goals. And all of that requires every single emotion and feeling that a human can experience. And all of those things are truly achievable, and may even make those moments of happiness even more sweet.