I’ve never been one to feel particularly content. As a typical air sign, my mind lives in the clouds and I’m always striving for the next new adventure. However, as a fixed sign (Aquarian) and with Capricorn rising, I’m also both stubborn and sensible! It’s an odd mix that, some days, makes total sense to me, and others, completely torments me. An old boss of mine once described me as ‘tenacious’, and I think this perfectly sums up this juxtaposition of my sun and rising signs.
Match that with my Scorpio moon, makes me a deeply emotional mess! However, I often regard this as my super power, because I’m completely open to confronting my darkness and bringing the truth to light. I will leave no stone unturned as I try to figure myself and this World out, and I’m likely to take you all on the journey with me too! Some people love and embrace this honesty, but for others this makes them feel very uncomfortable indeed. I’m definitely a Marmite person.
Through my experience, I’ve found that the World isn’t necessarily geared up for people like me. Even in my Human Design, as a Projector, I’m not designed to fit in with 80% of the World. If I take my employment as an example, working 13 years in Human Resources. I found that the times I’ve challenged systems and processes, or called people out on their ethics or behaviours, I’ve become very unpopular. It seems the more honesty and truth I bring to the table, the less I’m welcomed. Yet, as a Projector, it’s my duty to spot the things that 80% of people can’t see, and bring resolutions or implement efficiencies to make the World a more harmonious place. So why do most people shrug me off?
Throughout my school years I was bullied, and this led me to do everything I possibly could to fit in, in the desperate need to be liked and accepted. But the more I tried to fit in, the more people noticed my insecurities and subsequently bullied me more. Fast forward to my corporate career, where I began in this mindset of fitting in. I soon realised that I wasn’t born to fit in, so started to embrace my views and opinions on the World. I think this came as a shock to senior people I worked with. As a Capricorn rising, people often see me as compliant, steady and reliable. As a Human Resources professional, Capricorn energy really fits the bill. Add to this my physicality as a short, slight, young looking Gay man, who was always well groomed and presentable, I think people assumed I’d be a push over. Especially to the alpha males who seem to reign in most leadership roles.
When I started to embrace my Aquarian and Scorpio energies, combined with my Projector perspective on the World, it took people by surprise. Suddenly this meek little Gay man had a voice, a personality and a fierceness that nobody had expected from me. I wasn’t afraid to challenge the alphas, I wasn’t afraid to call out nonsense, I wasn’t afraid to stand up to bullies any more. And funnily enough, bullies don’t respond well to having their behaviours reflected back at them! There was even an incident of this in my own family, where I stood up to the known bully of the family. I think my extended family saw a different side to me during this time, having only ever seen Capricorn energy Luke. Just like my experience of employment, my fierceness surprised people and I divided opinions like Marmite.
The truth is, most people probably don’t align with me. This is why I don’t fit into employment, why I struggle to follow rules, why I see society in a completely different way to other people, why I feel like an outsider to humanity. And that’s ok. Nobody is for everybody, and not everybody is for me. As each life challenge passes, I learn more about the truth of why I’m here, and I feel more and more in acceptance of who I am. For those who get me, for those who admire my tenacity, for those who see wisdom in my thoughts, for those who embrace my honesty, and for those who value integrity, I welcome you with open arms and an open heart. You are my people. And with this, I finally feel contentment.
You may have read that and thought “Here he goes again, talking about himself!” – and you’d be damn right! I do this firstly, because I’m my favourite subject 😉, but most importantly, because I want to root for the outsiders, for the underdogs and for those who never felt like they fit in. Give yourself permission to go against the grain, to surprise people, and to be authentically who you are meant to be. Because for the people who do get you, you’re exactly who they need you to be. You were born into your signs, and you were given your design for a reason, because you serve the World best when you’re you.