I’ve been in deep thought lately about the state of the world. I’ve addressed this somewhat recently with regards to the current queerphobic narrative. But it’s so much more than that…
Women have fought for equality for centuries, and still are in many cases. Yes, in the West, women can be educated, work, vote and many other things that have been rightly fought for. Historically, men have caused incredible injustice for women. And I’d challenge anyone who disagreed with that.
Similarly the same can apply for queer people, people of colour, religious groups…the list goes on. It seems there will always be a marginalised group of people who are being excluded from society in one way or another.
Right now, it happens to be that trans and non-binary people are the target. We truly haven’t progressed that much since the widespread homophobia of the 1980s during the AIDS crisis. We’re just attacking a different sub-section of society. It’s a cycle we keep seeing over and over again throughout human history.
Why does this keep happening? Because the media tells us who to hate. It’s almost like we all need permission to hate on someone just to give us something to be distracted by. So that we fight each other instead of fighting the system, where these inequalities actually originate from.
I often see people preach equality for one group, but then exclude another. I can’t tell you the amount of women I’ve seen posting derogatory memes about trans people. How can you demand equality for women, but not for trans women? That’s not what equality is.
I’ve been triggered a few times recently - not just by queer bashing. But also by man bashing.
You may already know, but I parted from an 18 year best-friendship. A big factor in this separation was due to me being judged by my gender. I was told that I was selfish for being self-employed and having dreams, and that I should get a real job to support my family. But here’s the thing…if I was a mum, there’s no way that would have been said to me. If a woman chooses to work, be self-employed, follow her dreams or be a stay-at-home mother, that should be supported and celebrated. But as a father, I should go and get a job. This perspective both fascinated and infuriated me. Especially coming from someone who is so equality focused, and an activist for women’s and queer rights.
Even some of my closest allies still drop into conversation about how men are this or that. It’s seems that only men can be controlling, only men can be narcissists, only men can be abusive, only men can be rapists, only men can be peadophiles…
I just don’t get it. All people have the capacity to be horrid. Evil exists regardless of gender.
Some wise old lesbians once said to me that their observation of the world is that most women simply hate men. Fascinating…what do you think?
Yes, there’s still some way to go for true equality. Women (particularly mothers) struggle with career progression and gender pay gaps. There’s not enough education about menopause out there or enough tolerance in the workplace. There are so many inequalities that still exist. But that doesn’t mean that the default mode should be ‘men are bad’. There are plenty of women in powerful positions who don’t understand the demands of being a parent and how that hinders career progression. There are also plenty of Dads out there struggling too.
Equality means EQUAL. But the truth is, there’s no such thing as true equality in our society.
Equality doesn’t exist. I’m not sure we even truly want equality. Men and women can’t be treated the same, because we’re not the same. Queer people aren’t the same as straight, cis-gender people. Let’s be real…no two humans are even the same. We’re all individual and unique, and require the world to treat us with fairness. Not equality.
I think the truth is, we’re all just fighting to be understood. And that’s what this world needs. More understanding, less judgement.
Comments