People (including me!) bang on about self-love all the time. But we all know that self love isn’t as easy as it sounds. It’s a lifetime of practice, failure and acceptance.
For anyone who’s engaged in a decent conversation with me, you’ll know that I love to talk about myself!
For many, the thought of talking about themselves can make them feel deeply uncomfortable. There can be so many reasons behind this, but generally I find it boils down to a few things…
Fear of seeming self centred
Fear of being judged
Fear of exposing your truth
The key word here being ‘fear’. I can tell you from my own experience that these fears are very real and valid. These days, for the most part, I tend not to worry about points 1 & 3. But point 2 I still very much resonate with and experience on occasion.
I never used to feel comfortable talking about myself. I spent the majority of my childhood suppressing my truth through fear of being exposed. It just became the norm to keep myself small. It was my safety mechanism.
Like many, throughout my 20s I discovered a lot about myself, and in my 30s I really started to find my voice. I had to teach myself a few things…
What people think of me is none of my business
It’s ok to be vulnerable
I don’t need everyone to like me, just the right people
In particular, point 3 was a biggie. Everyone wants to be liked. I get very attached to people and genuinely care about them, and that doesn’t matter if they’re close friendships, clients or just a familiar face in the local shop. I think and wonder about people often. So when somebody misunderstands me or my intentions, it really cuts deep.
But back to point 1, I’ve very much learned to allow people to do and think as they please. When someone’s made their mind up about you, nine times out of ten there’s nothing you can do to change that. The only thing you can do is practice your own version of self-love, whatever that looks like.
For me, I like to externalise. It’s like therapy. I spent a significant chunk of my life in silence. Now, any chance I get, I love to express my thoughts, feelings and experiences. And I’m super ok with being my own favourite subject. It’s the ultimate act of self-love for me.
And I know that the right people will resonate with that. These people are my tribe, and I love you for hearing my voice.