It seems to be a societal norm to make derogatory comments about self-love. How many times have you heard “Oh, she loves herself” or “He’s so full of himself”?
Usually, these phrases are used to refer to somebody having a big ego. But why is it that we connect love and fullness with the ego? What is it that’s so off putting about people feeling good about themselves?
I think, particularly in British culture, self deprecation is seen as a desirable trait. It’s seen as humorous, humble and relatable. It means we’re not too big, not too selfish and not too much. It helps us fit in when we play small. It’s safe.
There a Japanese proverb that springs to mind here…”Hammer down the nail that sticks out”
It seems there is something threatening about a person who openly loves themself. And I don’t know about you, but it also feels uncomfortable to even think about what we might love about ourselves, let alone say it out loud. So it kind of makes sense that we’d find that kind of outward expression threatening, because it’s so unrelateable to most of us.
But now think about someone you love dearly. Perhaps a child in your life, if you have one. How would you feel if that child said they didn’t love themselves? 😭
So why is it socially acceptable for an adult to not love themselves? It’s even frowned upon if they do. But when it’s a child, our heart breaks for them? 💔
It’s so odd to me. We’re all just broken children. We all need to get comfortable with loving ourselves. But sadly, most never will.
So today, Valentine’s Day. I encourage you to love yourself. To find one thing about yourself and declare it to the world!
I love my expansive mind.
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