Stressed out at work? Just fail.

I just saw a quote that said…

“There’s a big difference between a job that is ‘challenging’ and a job that pushes everybody to their breaking point with unrealistic expectations, no support and no recognition.” - source anonymous

And I couldn’t agree more.

It’s one of those “If I had a pound…” moments, because I hear this so often. I’d go as far to say that the majority of people are dissatisfied with their working environment, and that if they won the lottery, they wouldn’t go back to work tomorrow.

Is this you, too?

It was certainly me 7 years ago, and for many years prior. Toxic workplaces with unrealistic expectations broke me on so many levels. In ways that still haunt me now. In ways I may never recover from.

But I’m one of the lucky ones…

I got out! The universe knew that the corporate world wasn’t for me, and it conspired to create a set of circumstances whereby I was able to move into self employment.

Now you might be thinking “No, Luke. You made that happen. You were brave and you worked damn hard to get where you are.” And yes, that’s also true. But I didn’t do it alone. I had both physical and metaphysical support. I put my cosmic order in and the universe provided. Literally everything timed up perfectly with the adoption of our first child, me qualifying as a yoga teacher, and some (borrowed) funds becoming available to invest in setting up.

I’m also incredibly blessed to have a supportive Husband who is fully onboard with my vision and keeps us financially afloat. I know my privilege in that respect.

So I’m not here saying that everybody needs to go self employed. Because honestly, it’s not for everyone. It takes a whole other level of risk taking, insecurity, sacrifice and tenacity. It takes harder and longer work than you’ve ever done in your life. It takes minimal annual leave and fewer holidays. It takes unpaid sickness. It takes years of earning less than minimum wage, sometimes even making a loss. It takes the ability to ride global waves such as Covid and the ’Cost of Living Crisis’. It takes a fuck load of worry, sleepless nights and constant doubt.

So no, please don’t go rushing to quit your jobs. That’s not what this is about.

But here’s something I do recommend…

Failure.

Rather than saying “yes”, taking on more work, more hours, more stress….

Simply fail.

The more you uphold the duties that are dumped upon you, the more those duties will be expected of you. The more you will be seen as the ‘go-to’ person or department for getting stuff done. It will never end. You will continue to get dumped upon.

So just fail.

Show them that you can’t do anymore than is already expected. Let them see your department or service crack under the pressure. Tell them you are revising your services in order to protect your own wellbeing and work/life balance. Hold them accountable for their advantage taking.

They’re not going to discipline you or fire you if you are clear and calm with your intentions. You need to paint them a realistic picture. You need to explain that if you continue to do everything they’re asking, that you will burn out. That you won’t be of any use to them at all. And that it’s not just them and you that will suffer, but your family and loved-ones will suffer too. It’s a ripple effect. That’s the part that employers often forget. It’s not just a relationship between you and them. You’re human, and you have other humans in your life who love and depend on you. And you can’t show up for them if you’re burned out and broken.

You’re not just taking a stand for yourself, you’re taking a stand for them, too.

So if not for yourself, fail for those who love you. It’s the greatest gift you can give them. It’s the greatest gift you can give yourself…

Failure.