I’m rarely bothered by how I look. I grew my hair for a few reasons…but never for vanity. Having two daughters, I wanted to understand long hair. I’m also a bit phobic of hair cuts, always have been since childhood. I can’t stand the little hairs around my neck.
So when covid hit, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to grow it out. Plus, I was curious about what having long hair would be like and look like on me. I ended up growing it twice, both times to the length that was required to donate it to the Little Princess Trust. And last time I cut it, I said I wouldn’t grow it again. Having long hair is a faff! And honestly, I didn’t know what to do with it or how to look after it.
But now…I kinda miss it. My daughter wants to learn to do some simple hair styles, and her little sister won’t sit still long enough for me to show her! I feel a little bit like I’ve failed her by cutting it off before I had the opportunity to teach her.
Plus, I kinda feel like I’ve lost my identity a little bit. I didn’t realise how connected I’d become with my hair, how it became part of who I am. I now just feel a little…generic. Like a heteronormative male with a short back and sides. It all feels a bit boring, and not representative of who I am at all. But it is easier!
I’d never really understood people’s relationship with their hair, I never thought I really cared enough about what I looked like. But here I am…kinda missing it. Feeling a bit bland without it. Maybe that’s the lesson…maybe now I’ll truly understand my daughters’ relationship with their hair as they grow older. Maybe hair has far more power than I’d ever realised.

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